A Crock of Gunt: Nick Heath
KOA Radio 650
July 19, 2032: Aurora, Colorado – Today’s Borealis pre-game show features Aurora’s broadcast team of Mark Gunter and George Crocker welcoming Aurora CF Nick Heath to discuss his time with Aurora, his injury and rehab, and his future with the club and other things of interest.
Gunt: Welcome everyone to today’s addition of “Crock of Gunt”. I’m your host, Mark Gunter along with my partner, George Crocker.
Crock: Dude… Dude… so totally awesome to be here… I’m like so stoked to welcome today’s guest… Can we roll him in, like, right now…?
Gunt: Ah (looks at Crocker sideways, already in fear), we sure can, George, though under the circumstances, maybe that’s a poor choice of words. Ladies and gentlemen, our guest for today needs little introduction – it’s Aurora’s CF, Nick Heath.
Heath: Hey Mark, George, it’s great to be here!
Gunt: It’s great to have you, Nick. We really haven’t had much of a chance to talk to you since you tore…
Crock: Shredded… shredded, Mark… He totally shredded his ankle, Dude…
Gunt: Yes, you could say that George. Either way, we haven’t chatted since that Cinco de Mayo day. Tell us what happened?
Heath: Well, we were playing the Codgers at Northern Lights, and Pablo Ortiz just yanked one down the line in left to give them a 1-0 lead in the top of the 6th. We then started ripping Guerra in the bottom of the inning – we had scored three runs when I came up, Gabe and Howard were in scoring position, so I had a chance to make it a big inning. I dribbled a ball past Ortiz at third, down the line – I was thinking two all the way. Moreno picked up the ball near the bullpen mounds and he fired to second – I dove head first, but my toe got caught under me and I twisted awkwardly. I was safe, but I knew my ankle wasn’t.
Crock: Brah… that was like no bueno…
Heath: Yup – I drove in a pair, but then I was out for an estimated 3-4 months…
Gunt: That takes you to early August to September. Where do you stand with your rehab?
Heath: Well, They are telling me 3-4 weeks, so that makes it early August, plus rehab time at AAA… I’m hoping the Fargo series on the 24th of August… I hope it’ll be strong enough – the doctors and trainers were confident it didn’t need surgery, so… we’ll see…
Gunt: You had gotten off to a slow start – hitting .250 with no homers – despite hitting 70 over the past three seasons as the full time starter in the outfield. What are your thoughts about that?
Heath: Well, my contract’s up… I’ve been with the organization since the 2022 draft… George? (Crocker hands Nick a magazine) Why are you handing me a ‘High Times’?
Crock: Dude… I want your autograph, Dude…
Heath: Why in the world would you want my autograph – you see me, like, every day? It’s not like I’m some big celebrity. I’m not even a PEBA celebrity… and I’m certainly not Carter…
Gunt: Well, you were an All-Star two years ago…
Crock: But, Brah… you’re from Weed… I saw your bio… Weed, man, you’re from Weed…
Heath: Yeah, I am – Weed, California, but that’s not marijuana country – that’s snow, hunting, boating… that’s more ‘State of Jefferson’ country then it is ‘weed’ contry…
Crock: C’mon, man… Everyone knows they party there like it’s 19-4/20…
Gunt: Ummmmmm… Baseball, anyone?
Heath: Yes, please…
Gunt: You’re contract…
Heath: Yes. I signed a couple of extensions the past three seasons, to avoid that nasty arbitration stuff, but now I look towards free agency, and…
Crock: … and now you look to have your own brand – like all the big stars!
Heath: Seriously, George?
Crock: Think about the potential… I got it – the Heath Bar!!
Gunt: I’m pretty sure that one’s taken…
Heath: …I’d like to stick around – I love it in Aurora and they certainly need a centerfielder. I just don’t know if we will agree on a number…
Crock: You mean, like $40 per quarter? That would be serious Old School cheap. Guys today are getting at least $150 per…
Gunt: (rolls his eyes and shakes his head) You aren’t looking for Parker or Lujan money, are you?
Heath: No, not at all, but management just signed Shane to a potential 5-year deal for something more realistic. I think I’m just as valuable to the team as he is.
Gunt: I guess it boils down to a 32-year old outfielder with a bum ankle…
Crock: Imagine the marketing in the Colorado market – and at the park!
Heath: George! I don’t have any marijuana connection at all!
Crock: (winks) I gotcha – I know guys like to call it other things – to be cool… What do you call it, Nick? Mary Jane? Ganja? Maui Wowie? Chronic? Pakalolo? Sinsemilla? Dank? Whatcha call it Captian Nick?
Heath: Abstention.
Crock: Ho, ho, ho… I ain’t eveah hear of that one, Dude… Is that the latest and greatest slang from Nor Cali? I bet it is! You sly dog, you…
Gunt: What are your thoughts about the future Borealis outfield, Nick?
Heath: Well, I still like ‘Litterbug’, I just think he gets a little impatient at the plate – and it’s keeping his numbers down. But if you are looking in the near future, there’s G-Rod, who has done nothing but hit in the minors. If I were to speculate, he’ll be getting his first hits for Aurora before the season is over. Last year they drafted Bill Smith, who struggled some, but I was working with him a little during spring camp, and he’s shown great progess at A Ball.
Gunt: And we were just down at Montserrat during the All-Star break and we saw a young 18-year old – Tony Munoz, who has superstar written all over him.
Heath: I’ve seen tape of that kid – give him three seasons and he’ll be knocking on Aurora’s door.
Gunt: Indeed. Well, that’s all we have time for, so I want to thank our guest Nick Heath. Nick, best wishes for a quick rehab and a speedy return to the lineup. The team is certainly missing your bat!
Heath: Thanks, Mark.
Crock: I’ve got the idea, Nickerbocker! Once the season is done, you and me, we sit down with the ‘Boy Wonder’ and talk product placement – you know, a little here, a little there…
