Golf club mogul floating into the PEBA?

Message

Tama7RC · #1 Post by **Tama7RC** » Mon Oct 06, 2008 7:15 pm

Golf club mogul floating into the PEBA?

Lake Meade - AZ -- Reports have surfaced today that golf club mogul, Jonathan Constantine will be interviewing with owners of the PEBA, regarding his application for ownership of the Charleston Statesmen.

A successful innovator, Constantine has always been a fan of the PEBA, and has demonstrated tact, patience, and determination in the business world, and hopes that will translate well as an owner of a baseball franchise.

Titanic Clubs, inc., a company Constantine started in his swimming pool, has found a unique niche in the economy; it thrives on it's customer's frustrations. With golf quickly becoming one of the most popular sport's among the average citizen, and through his own experiences he saw a grand business opportunity.

In short, the fundamental reason for his success is quite simple. Golfer hits golf ball, golf ball does not go where golfer wants it to, golfer gets extremely frustrated, golfer hurls golf club, golf club lands in water, golf club sinks.

Developing a series of "floatable" golf clubs, has brought satisfaction once again to the below average golfer. (Why didn't we think of that?)

While overseeing some quality assurance testing on his newest prospect, the Hindenberg, (Titanic Clubs, inc. has a 40-story office building on the coast of Lake Meade, with an accessible roof where clubs are tossed off into Lake Meade) Constantine took a few minutes to explain his new business endeavor.

"I think Charleston is in a pretty unique position. Population is rising, and it's a younger population. I think there is a lot of opportunity there to start something special, and get the younger fans interested again, and really begin create a competitive organization and develop loyalty with the fans there."

While he wouldn't comment any immediate changes he had planned for the organization, he did reveal that he thinks a good, cheap hot dog and frequent bunting will play important roles in his business plan.

#2 Post by **John** » Mon Oct 06, 2008 7:50 pm

Jon's article is now posted as the lead story on the homepage. Very well written, Jon! So we're looking at a golf club mogul, eh? You'll fit in nicely with our cruise ship mogul, as well as the owners of the Gloucester Fishermen, who made their fortune when one was hit by the car of a trucking mogul. Moguls have a long, storied history in the PEBA!

Tama7RC · #3 Post by **Tama7RC** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 9:24 pm

Thanks for the cool links! :) I'll have to remember to utilize outside sources in the future.

Matt · #4 Post by **Matt** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:19 pm

Reminds me, I must get onto writing the article about the hispanic female owner of the Calzones. Former mexican pornstar who made millions with her string of Adult XXX bookstores conveniently located near truckstops all across the country.

Tyler · #5 Post by **Tyler** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:21 pm

At some point I'm going to have to explain how I own and run the Coal Sox at the age of 20. Hmmmmm.

Matt · #6 Post by **Matt** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:28 pm

At some point I'm going to have to explain how I own and run the Coal Sox at the age of 20. Hmmmmm.

The bigger question might be, why West Virginia? I know the muddy pit known as New Orleans was already taken, but couldn't you have found a better locale? Mogadishu maybe?

Sorry, my team is going to suck so bad I'm taking my shots now. God knows I may be looking up at Tempe before this season is over.

#7 Post by **John** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:40 pm

Calzones wrote:The bigger question might be, why West Virginia? I know the muddy pit known as New Orleans was already taken, but couldn't you have found a better locale? Mogadishu maybe?

The crazy thing is that the team was originally located in a better locale: Miami, FL to be exact. Yup, they were going to be the Miami Tropix, but the original owner stepped down before we ever started play and Tyler the Upstart moved them - after a brief stop-over in Clarksburg - to Charleston, WV. Tyler's motto: "Market research? We don't need no steenking market research!"

Matt · #8 Post by **Matt** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:51 pm

He had to move them to West Virginia. It's the only place his "Possum on a Stick" concession could turn a profit.

Tyler · #9 Post by **Tyler** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:58 pm

Calzones wrote:He had to move them to West Virginia. It's the only place his "Possum on a Stick" concession could turn a profit.

I am likely to be up until 4 AM with homework. Since four hours of sleep is worse for my functioning tomorrow than no sleep, expect an article about this.

Well, not "Possums on a Stick." I got a restraining order to get that guy to stop selling them on team property. But the other bit.