Miyata's Departure a Relief to Duluth

[Bill]

12/29/2008: Duluth, MN - When Yoshino Miyata arrived on the shores of Lake Superior two seasons ago, he came accompanied by some of the highest expectations of any player in the league. The outfielder from Japan came with a track record of driving the ball from gap to gap with the regularity of a vegetarian on Metamucil. Not only could the 6' 1" Oriental hit, he also brought with him the reputation of being able to catch everything but the clap. To top it all off, he had the plate discipline and batting eye of Ted Williams. "He was pickier than a 5-year-old girl just back from Grandma's," said hitting coach José Álvarez. "The dude just wouldn't swing at a pitch he didn't like.” A mere 48 Ks in 1132 at-bats over the span of his first two years in the league bear out Álvarez's point. "If he'd ever open his eyes all the way, he might never strike out at all," mused the veteran hitting coach.

One of the concerns about Miyata was his rumored lack of speed. "We heard he moved about as well as Stephen Hawking in a power outage," said GM Joel Dobney, an avid wizard. "We were happily surprised about his mobility on the paths and in the field.” While Miyata was a mere 29-for-38 on stolen base attempts in his two years, statistics don't bear out how little he clogged up the base paths during his tenure in Duluth. His range factors were 2.49 and 3.15 in Duluth; I'm not sure how to interpret that, but it seems pretty impressive.


While Miyata's contributions on the field were unquestionable, it was his activism in the community that would make him one of the most popular characters on the Duluth squad. It was this popularity, ironically, that would lead to Miyata's undoing and ultimately his untimely exile from the Jewel of Minnesota. "It was when he began playing pick-up basketball at the local YMCA that the trouble began," reported Joel Dobney. "In no time at all, he was playing 3-4 times a week for 8 hours at a stretch.” It was not a lack of talent that doomed Miyata, but rather the exact opposite. "The man had bunnies, as it turns out. He served up more tea bags than Earl Grey," declared Dobney.

It was his propensity for needlessly graphic celebration that resulted in Miyata's becoming an expendable asset in the Duluth clubhouse. "It was his incessant pelvic thrusting that really got on our nerves during our team pick-up games," said Larry Hoskins, who wouldn't know anything about it because he was playing for Arlington at the time. This appalling habit – combined with his fondness for the "spud sling" genre of lower-body attire – did little-to-nothing to endear Miyata to his fellow Warriors, suggests the surprisingly knowledgeable Hoskins. A pitiable work ethic combined with a deep yearning for a winning team did nothing to make the situation better on Miyata's end.

With $19,183,500 due him next year, the Warriors in financial crisis and his clubhouse developing a healthy loathing for the area between his navel and his thighs, Miyata was a prime candidate for being moved this winter. The Warriors were in desperate need of the kind of pitching help that Miyata was capable of bringing, and his salary was murdering the bottom line for the Warriors. When Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin suggested to GM Joel Dobney that San Antonio might provide the necessary components to make the Miyata trade happen, the writing was on the Great Wall for the Nipponese sensation.

The rest of the story is just details to the Warrior faithful. The main piece coming to Duluth was veteran pitcher Kirby Gibson, a durable veteran with a 2.80 career ERA. Arron Campbell, a middling 1B, also came along in the deal. Both players figure to find their way on to contenders before the season is through unless Duluth surprises everyone. The true story of this trade will be one of infatuation, disenchantment, and ultimately disgust over the 2-year tenure of one Yoshino Miyata in Duluth.