Bulldozers Fire Manager Goode!
Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 1:39 pm
BULLDOZERS FIRE MANAGER GOODE!
By Roberta Umor
27 August 2029: Yuma, AZ — Rumors have been flying for months, but this morning the spokeswoman for the Yuma Bulldozers, Emma Span, confirmed that Manager David Goode, formerly the $12 Million Man, has been fired.
Goode had no comment for the press, but Span provided a handwritten note, which she claimed came from her phone conversation with the Dozers former manager, saying something to the effect that Goode was disappointed he hadn't brought a championship to the dusty desert whistle stop of Yuma. General Manager Bob Mayberry remained unavailable for comment. Mayberry is undergoing psychiatric treatment at the Camarillo State Mental Hospital.
Later in the day, Acting GM Pam Postema questioned Span's handwritten note from Goode, explaining that "no one in this organization has any delusions about a championship. We're in the midst of a five year build which we hope will make the club competitive. Talk of championships is irresponsible and delusional." Postema reported that she'd tried to contact GM Mayberry by phone to inform him of the decision, but the hospital was screening his calls. "I'll let him know next time I visit," she concluded.
Emma Span was boarding her private jet for New York City, where she resides, when reporters caught up with her and filled her in on Postema's comments. "I have nothing to add to what I said," Span said, "except to say ... Ms. Postema is a temporary hire and she should watch her P's and Q's if she wishes to remain a member of the Bulldozer team."
Sources close to the ball club expect Bench Coach Billy Hawk to take over as Interim Manager until a replacement for Goode can be found.
By Roberta Umor
27 August 2029: Yuma, AZ — Rumors have been flying for months, but this morning the spokeswoman for the Yuma Bulldozers, Emma Span, confirmed that Manager David Goode, formerly the $12 Million Man, has been fired.
Goode had no comment for the press, but Span provided a handwritten note, which she claimed came from her phone conversation with the Dozers former manager, saying something to the effect that Goode was disappointed he hadn't brought a championship to the dusty desert whistle stop of Yuma. General Manager Bob Mayberry remained unavailable for comment. Mayberry is undergoing psychiatric treatment at the Camarillo State Mental Hospital.
Later in the day, Acting GM Pam Postema questioned Span's handwritten note from Goode, explaining that "no one in this organization has any delusions about a championship. We're in the midst of a five year build which we hope will make the club competitive. Talk of championships is irresponsible and delusional." Postema reported that she'd tried to contact GM Mayberry by phone to inform him of the decision, but the hospital was screening his calls. "I'll let him know next time I visit," she concluded.
Emma Span was boarding her private jet for New York City, where she resides, when reporters caught up with her and filled her in on Postema's comments. "I have nothing to add to what I said," Span said, "except to say ... Ms. Postema is a temporary hire and she should watch her P's and Q's if she wishes to remain a member of the Bulldozer team."
Sources close to the ball club expect Bench Coach Billy Hawk to take over as Interim Manager until a replacement for Goode can be found.