Scottish Scoops: 29.004 "Dr. Evil probe ends quietly"

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Scottish Scoops: 29.004 "Dr. Evil probe ends quietly"

#1 Post by Vic »

By Hamish Campbell
The Edinburgh News
2029-01-27

An inquiry into accusations that a member of the Scottish Claymores front office and a former minor league first baseman were involved in a doping scandal in Texas more than a decade ago has ended quietly with no disciplinary recommendations.

However, Jimmy “Dr. Evil” Peterson – one of the key figures in the scandal – is no longer with the franchise, The Edinburgh News has learned. He was quietly released from AA affiliate Inverness on Oct. 29, and then announced his retirement from baseball a short time later.
Peterson quietly retires



Harry Kevern, assistant general manager for the Claymores and the other figure involved in the incident, remains on the job with no indication that any action will be taken against him.

“We have looked into the allegations against Harry and Peterson and found nothing of substance to the charges that they slipped an illegal, um, substance to an opposing team while both of them were in Texas,” Claymores owner Brad Kern said on Friday.

“The incident in question allegedly occurred some 12 years ago, and there is no physical evidence that anything untoward happened, and recollections of potential witnesses varied wildly. There’s nothing here we can get our arms around, so we are closing the inquiry and moving forward.”

Sources close to the team say that Peterson, 25, worked as a batboy for a now-defunct independent minor league baseball team in Texas at the same time that Kevern worked there in the front office.

Allegations surfaced that Kevern once ordered Peterson to spike the Gatorade cooler of an opposing team with a psychedelic drug known as Ibogaine. The drug left many of the players incapable of lifting their bats off their shoulders and, once in the field, staring at their hands and remarking on the pretty colors instead of snaring line drives blasted their way.

Sources say umpires called the game in favor of Kevern’s team – the Klein Kardinals – after an inning-and-a-half and the score standing at 19-0.

The incident became public after the Claymores dealt a 13th round draft pick to the Aurora Borealis in exchange for Peterson, who was a lightly-regarded minor leaguer with no discernable major league potential.

Harry Kevern



Front office sources said Kevern pushed hard for the trade, and some thought he may have been blackmailed by Peterson, who was trying to save his baseball career.

Kevern and Peterson both denied the allegations vigorously, but Kern vowed to investigate and find the truth.

Now, however, it appears the investigation is over with no clear resolution, except that nothing can be conclusively proven.

“Too frickin’ bad,” said Peterson, who was reached at his Chillicothe, Ohio, home. “It was all fantasy anyway.”

Peterson, whose nickname allegedly stems from the Texas incident, said his retirement had nothing to do with the allegations, and that he had simply decided his future lies outside baseball.

“When you can’t hit AA fastballs, that’s a pretty good indication that you ain’t gonna be a big league star,” Peterson said. “Now, I’m thinking about going into the pharmaceutical industry – maybe in sales. I’ve always had an interest in pharmaceuticals, you know.”

Kevern, meanwhile, said he’s relieved to have the matter behind him.

“It was all nonsense, of course,” he said. “We’ve got a good team here, and I’m going to concentrate on helping the Claymores get to the next level. I wish Jimmy well in his new career as a drug salesman, and hope he keeps in touch.

“And remember, Jimmy, if you come visit, bring samples!”
Last edited by Vic on Fri Jun 07, 2019 7:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Scottish Scoops: 29.004 "Dr. Evil probe ends quietly"

#2 Post by Leones »

What you do not smell is called ibogaine powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadlier poisons known to man. All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is 0-fer. :lol:
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Re: Scottish Scoops: 29.004 "Dr. Evil probe ends quietly"

#3 Post by Ghosts »

Never can have too many anti-histamines around the clubhouse!
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Re: Scottish Scoops: 29.004 "Dr. Evil probe ends quietly"

#4 Post by DrewV »

Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
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Re: Scottish Scoops: 29.004 "Dr. Evil probe ends quietly"

#5 Post by Vic »

I should have linked to the original story, which can be found here.
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Re: Scottish Scoops: 29.004 "Dr. Evil probe ends quietly"

#6 Post by DrewV »

I love these storylines!
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Re: Scottish Scoops: 29.004 "Dr. Evil probe ends quietly"

#7 Post by Borealis »

Clearly Aurora didn't do it's due diligence when drafting Peterson...
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