Edinburgh News - 2028-12-30: "FUK protest backfires"

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Edinburgh News - 2028-12-30: "FUK protest backfires"

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By Hamish Campbell
The Edinburgh News
2028-12-30

Talk about a backfire.

A protest by supporters of the Scottish Claymores’ former minor league affiliate of Fukumitsu so angered franchise owner Brad Kern that he abruptly decided to move his “Short A” team from Japan to the Hawaiian island of Maui, The Edinburgh News has learned.

On the night after Christmas, residents of the posh Edinburgh neighborhood of Morningside found dozens of posters featuring the controversial logo of the Fukumitsu Timbers tacked to trees lining the street leading to Kern’s home.

Each of the posters was illuminated by a lit tiki torch, creating a bright sea of placards festooned with the Timbers’ bold red “FUK” logo that had consternated Claymores officials in recent weeks.


The logo had become something of a sensation when the hosts of the popular PEBA Podcast joked about the off-color branding, and then the Claymores Roundtable radio program poked fun at it, too. From there, the “FUK” logo became fodder for countless late-night comedians and sports commentators, prompting Claymores officials to ask the team for a change.

“Personally, I thought the whole thing was silly,” said Salvador Medrano, a legendary former Claymores player and host of the PEBA UK! radio show. “But Brad is pretty conservative when it comes to anything that might taint the Claymores brand, so I guess it was predictable.”

What wasn’t so predictable was the reaction of residents of Nanto (which was created when Fukumitsu and other nearby towns merged in 2004 to create the new metropolitan area).

“Of course we didn’t want to change it,” said Koki Watanabe, a spokesman for the local team ownership group. “We invested many resources, both financial and emotional, in creating a team identity that made our fans proud. Just because silly people in the United Kingdom made fun of us, we did not see any reason to change.”

Kern and the Claymores persisted, though, suggesting a name change to the Fushigi Yugi Celestial Warriors, the name of the original major league franchise when it was a member of the League of the Rising Sun.

“We, of course, honor the memory of the Celestial Warriors, but that is not our team. We are … were … the Fukumitsu Timbers, and that should have been a cause of pride for Mr. Kern and his administrative staff."

Kern, though, didn’t see it that way, and opened a search for a new home for his Short A affiliate, which trains the franchise’s youngest players. He quickly identified the Hawaiian island of Maui, and specifically the city of Lahaina, as an ideal location.

“The Surf and Snow Amalgamation – the league of Short A affiliates – had been urging teams to consider clustering their clubs in Hawaii and Alaska to simplify travel and other considerations,” said Claymores Asst. General Manager Harry Kevern. “This seemed the perfect opportunity.”

Harry Kevern, Asst. Claymores GM



Still, Kern was reluctant to pull the trigger on the move, given the Claymores’ long association with Fukumitsu.

That changed on the night after Christmas.

“Brad saw those torches and those posters and just lost it,” said one team official, who asked not to be named. “He said it’s one thing to have a professional disagreement, but another thing to involve his home, his family, and his neighbors.

“So, he decided to tell the FUK protestors to FUK off … so to speak.”

From there, events moved quickly, sources said. Kern called the mayor of Lahaina, who had been leading a local committee trying to land a team, and a deal was struck within hours:

The Maui Mahi-Mahi was born.

Scotland announced the change at the PEBA winter meetings and unveiled the team’s name and new logo.

Although some wags said the name was a bit of a mouthful, Kevern explained the reasoning: “The fish, a treasure of the Hawaiian islands, is called the Mahi-Mahi – not just the Mahi. Even though the Maui Mahi might roll off the tongue a bit easier, it’s not actually a thing. A Mahi is just half a fish, as it were, and believe me, we want the whole fish.”



All of which leaves the former Fukumitsu ownership heartbroken and empty-handed.

“This is a terrible ending to what had been a wonderful sporting tradition,” said Watanabe. “We decry Mr. Kern’s decision and mourn what we have lost.”

Kevern, though, was unsympathetic.

“Maybe they should have thought about that before they put up all those FUK U posters around Brad’s house. All things considered, I think we’ll take the fish. Go Mahi-Mahi!”
Last edited by Vic on Wed May 29, 2019 12:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Edinburgh News - 2028-12-30: "FUK protest backfires"

#2 Post by KenH »

;-D Great job Vic! I love this. I'm very interested to see what the Fukumitsu brass does now without a team. Will they move to find another affiliate? Only time will tell...
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Re: Edinburgh News - 2028-12-30: "FUK protest backfires"

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And if they do try for a new team, will they allow a new logo? They seem very attached ...
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Re: Edinburgh News - 2028-12-30: "FUK protest backfires"

#4 Post by Borealis »

That was awesome Vic!!
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Re: Edinburgh News - 2028-12-30: "FUK protest backfires"

#5 Post by Sandgnats »

Awesome article. I laughed out loud quite a few time.
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