Page 1 of 1

Edinburgh News - 2028-03-13 - 'Dr. Evil"

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 12:40 pm
by Vic
By Hamish Campbell
Evening News Staff Writer
2028-03-13

Edinburgh, Scotland – With front office drama taking center stage in the opening days of Claymores spring training, the team itself has seemed a bit lost in the media shuffle.

But the intrigue surrounding this week’s hiring of statistics guru Hayato Sasaki as manager isn’t the only melodrama brewing in the Claymores’ dugout.

Enter Dr. Evil.

No, not the Austin Powers film series bad guy. We’re talking about the Scottish Claymores light-hitting (.223 B.A., .268 OBP in 2027) but slick defensive infielder Naomi Honma, who won’t divulge how he came by his ominous nickname.

He’s not shy, though, about divulging his feelings about Sasaki’s plan to move him to third base from his natural position of shortstop.

“It’s b.s., and everyone knows it,” Honma said during a clubhouse interview on Sunday. “I’m a world class shortstop, and that’s where I want to play. Anything else is unacceptable. Hear me? Unacceptable!”

While Honma hinted that the decision was due to some dubious sabermetric hocus pocus on the new manager’s part, Sasaki smiled at the suggestion.

“One does not need a graphing calculator to realize that Naomi is our best fielding option, currently, at third base,” he said. “Orlando Barrón is an excellent shortstop, but a below-average third baseman. José Escobido is an outstanding second baseman who does not play third at all.

“So while our most modest Naomi is quite right that he is a world class shortstop, he also is a gifted third baseman. I would be guilty of gross mismanagement if I did not put together the best infield I can, would I not? Therefore, Naomi will play third.”

Informed of his manager’s statement, Honma scowled and stroked the lush soul patch beneath his lower lip.

“Well, we’ll see about that, won’t we?” he said, and stalked off.

The consensus in the clubhouse seems to back Sasaki at this point – and it’s not hard to see why. Scotland signed Barrón and Escobido, both newcomers to the team, to hefty free agent contracts over the offseason with an eye towards solidifying the top of the batting order and upgrading the infield.

With no natural third baseman on the roster, it only makes sense to turn to Honma, several of his teammates observed.

“Naomi needs to chill out,” one Claymores veteran opined. “Him playing at third gives us our best chance to win – especially if he ever figures out how to hit. So quit whining, shut up and play.”

Understandable sentiment, to be sure. But will a temperamental player who styles himself as Dr. Evil take the advice?

Stay tuned …

Re: Edinburgh News - 2028-03-13 - 'Dr. Evil"

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 1:23 pm
by Borealis
Excellent!! And if you need to fill out the rest of that infield, you can have your own "Evil to Escobido to Evil" with this guy!

Re: Edinburgh News - 2028-03-13 - 'Dr. Evil"

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 1:36 pm
by Vic
Ha! One can dream ...

Re: Edinburgh News - 2028-03-13 - 'Dr. Evil"

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:20 pm
by Sandgnats
Ah good old Orlando...