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Steve Hott, Others Traded

Posted: Thu May 30, 2019 1:25 pm
by KenH
On a sad, rainy December afternoon, the rumblings became reality as pitching dynamo and fan favorite Steve Hott was traded, along with others, to the revivified Duluth Warriors forJose Campos, John Dickson and the sixth pick in the 2029 draft.

“We’re wanting to put a team out on the field that’s going to compete now while also building for our future,” GM Ken Hannahs said as he addressed the collected press corps. “While I’m sure many of our fans and even our players are sad to see the great Steve Hott go, we hope that we can re-earn their trust.”

"I can't believe he's gone," wailed one Jacksonville resident as she was wrapped in a size XXXL Featherheads jersey emblazoned with a number 79 on the back. "I don't know if I can ever forgive Ken Hannahs for trading away our golden boy."

But try the Featherheads faithful must. As the off-season marches along, now sans-Hott, the Featherheads will need to address some of their more pressing concerns.

As of this writing, Florida maintains some pretty glaring holes in their line-up. With Francisco Montoya’s atrocious batting line last year, it would seem to indicate that some moves to address the middle infield are in the offing. As it stands, the concern that many have is whether suitable free agent candidates exist to fill those positions, especially with two new teams bidding on the services of these players.

There are several that fit, but with the newly budget-conscious Featherheads, the options may be limited. With several very good candidates existing in AAA, it may not be too far-fetched to see the 2029 Featherheads roll out a much younger and less-lauded team than in recent memory.

Only time will tell.

Re: Steve Hott, Others Traded

Posted: Thu May 30, 2019 1:46 pm
by Sandgnats
Sad day...

Re: Steve Hott, Others Traded

Posted: Thu May 30, 2019 1:57 pm
by Borealis
When it's a sad day, Steven Hott's presence makes it a Glorious Day - even when he is traded!

Re: Steve Hott, Others Traded

Posted: Thu May 30, 2019 2:38 pm
by Arroyos
How will the Hottless Featherheads fare without their hottest player?

All the hotties who line up outside the stadium after each game to see the Hott One will be inconsolable. Without Hott's heat, temps in Florida will drop precipitously. Oranges will freeze overnight. Palm trees tremble. Old folks will no longer gather in the tv room of their assisted living quarters to bask in the warmth Hott generated. Online orders for electric blankets from Florida will overwhelm the internet. Amazon will run out of stock. Prices for used electric blankets will skyrocket on eBay. Sales of ice cream and popsicles and frozen yogurt at the Featherhead ballpark will plummet. The demand for hot chocolate and hot tea will outpace production. Floridians will swap their air conditioning units for space heaters. And while the sun still beats down on the flattest state in the Union, it will produce no heat, now that Hott is gone. Shallow bays and lagoons along the coast will begin to coagulate, grow denser, molecules glueing themselves to other molecules to keep warm in a desperate and futile attempt to delay the inevitable: the Gulf will begin to freeze over, in slow motion, as if a slow-acting derivative of Ice Nine had been released into the water.

The hegira of Hott will spell the fall of Florida!

Re: Steve Hott, Others Traded

Posted: Thu May 30, 2019 3:09 pm
by Borealis
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

So, without Steve Hott, there is no Global Warming (just global warming)?

Re: Steve Hott, Others Traded

Posted: Thu May 30, 2019 6:41 pm
by Leones
Holy entropy Batman!

Re: Steve Hott, Others Traded

Posted: Thu Jun 06, 2019 9:56 pm
by DrewV
We'll take good care of him! As the rest of Duluthians are saying right now: "Andy who?"