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Gyro, Graveyards, and a Fire Sale?

Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:03 am
by Hitmen
Canton; Papa Gyros off of Cleveland Ave..

“Sir.. why did you ask me to come here?”

Mr. Czosnyka sits tucked into a booth at Papa Gyros, a half eaten sampler platter in front of him and tzatziki sauce on his chin, head cocked and staring blankly at Jules.

“What? You don’t eat? You don’t like food? Sit down! Order yourself a Gyro or a Falafel.. you really need to lighten up Jules.”

“Didn’t you tell me recently how dire our situation was and how much we needed to succeed to avoid being thrown back onto the streets selling plastic banana peels?”

“What in heavens are you blathering on about? What makes you think we are in trouble? Next year we clear more than $50 million in salaries.. We are sitting pretty my boy! The world is our oyster!” Pieces of pita bread and gyro meat carelessly flying through the air as the GM pays no attention to what is in his hands or mouth.

“But.. what about this year? We were trying to continue the great progress the team has been making over the past 3-4 seasons, correct? Continue our march upwards? What about the trades you told me to seek?” Jules continues to grow more flustered by the minute.

“Winnie the Pooh, Marvin the Martian, and the Florist are all nice little pieces to fill the bench and keep us moving along, but they won’t win us a championship.. Neither will Honmama or the Mart. You really have a thing or two to learn about baseball my boy.. follow me, I will explain it all to you.”

Jules follows his GM out of the restaurant and around a quick corner. Before he knows it, he is being led straight into a cemetery..

“Can you smell it Jules? Do you recognize the scent? No.. stop being dense. I’m not talking about the smell of the fresh cut grass! The dead my boy! The decay! The dirt! That is our Longshoremen! That is our destiny! 22 years.. 22 years and this Podunk town has not been better than 3rd place. We’ve never managed to make it to the playoffs, and we don’t have the talent to get much further than 6 games over .500? That is not success. We need to have sustained success! We need to grow some… stop it. I said stop it! What are you a child? I’m not talking about weeds damnit! Stop picking at them! I am talking about talent!”

“Sorry sir, I really can’t stand graveyards. They give me the creeps. I’m trying to distract myself.”

“Listen to me.. stop dropping yourself to Marsten’s level. That bumbling old man doesn’t know the first thing about putting a team together. No, we aren’t going to magically catapult into the playoffs this year. We need to take advantage of all of this money! We need to build for the future! A future without banana peels!”

“I don’t follow sir..”

An evil grin spreads from ear to ear on the GM’s face. “A sale my boy, a liquidation. A culling of our so called talent. Yes, yes.. I know people losing their jobs makes you uncomfortable, but it has to be done. I need you to get back on the phone lines, get me some more meetings! We can’t wait, we must begin at once!”

Jules just stares as Mr. Czosnyka cackles like a mad man, then chokes on a piece of gyro that found it’s way from his chin and into his mouth. A few stumbles and a quick slap to his stomach, and the GM is back to happily cackling like he came up with an original plan.. it looks like more ‘wheeling and dealing’ as Mr. Czosnyka would say.

Re: Gyro, Graveyards, and a Fire Sale?

Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 2:41 am
by Borealis
Hmmmmmmmm... Mr. C's sabbatical seems to have sapped some sanity from him...

Re: Gyro, Graveyards, and a Fire Sale?

Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 10:54 am
by Hitmen
Borealis wrote:Hmmmmmmmm... Mr. C's sabbatical seems to have sapped some sanity from him...
He’s definitely too cocky and loose for his own good! Yet to be determined if he can hack it as a GM. More disturbing that our owner would hire someone off the streets of Canton. Clearly he does not have the organizations best interest in mind.

Re: Gyro, Graveyards, and a Fire Sale?

Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:45 pm
by Leones
PEBA players now available on Amazon Prime!?

Re: Gyro, Graveyards, and a Fire Sale?

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 6:24 am
by DrewV
And so a new era in Canton begins!

Very fun and engaging piece. Looking forward to seeing the retooling of Canton and competing in the mighty Great Lakes!

Re: Gyro, Graveyards, and a Fire Sale?

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 12:24 pm
by Fishermen
Canton fanbase in shambles. I can only imagine the rage from those season ticket owners when they check Twitter and see Canton is dealing everyone out.

Re: Gyro, Graveyards, and a Fire Sale?

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:04 pm
by Borealis
Phew... Mikey #1 had quite the busy week, and I suspect it may continue. Of course, Bob Erickson comes to The Front Range to cool the up in flames middle relief, and instead instantly joins the block party.... pfffffftttttt...

Re: Gyro, Graveyards, and a Fire Sale?

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:05 pm
by Hitmen
Harpoon wrote:Canton fanbase in shambles. I can only imagine the rage from those season ticket owners when they check Twitter and see Canton is dealing everyone out.
Season tickets took a big hit before I took over in Spring Training, fans were already balking at the team that barely changed from the previous year. All these fun moves have not helped for sure though! Give me a couple seasons and things should be trending up though ;-D
Borealis wrote:Phew... Mikey #1 had quite the busy week, and I suspect it may continue. Of course, Bob Erickson comes to The Front Range to cool the up in flames middle relief, and instead instantly joins the block party.... pfffffftttttt...
Not done by a long shot! Trying to channel my inner Matt.