A Crock of Gunt: Bob Keller and George Crocker

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Borealis
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A Crock of Gunt: Bob Keller and George Crocker

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A Crock of Gunt: Bob Keller and George Crocker
KOA Radio 850


May 6, 2013: Fargo, North Dakota – Aurora broadcaster Mark Gunter meets with Borealis catcher Bob Keller before Aurora’s series opener with the Dinosaurs. They discuss life in the big leagues, his current backup role and his future with the team.

Gunt: Welcome, Borealis faithful, to another addition of “A Crock of Gunt”. I’m Mark Gunter, and my partner, George Crocker, is still running about Japan doing who knows what. Joining me today is catcher Bob Keller. How’s it going, Bob?

Keller: Great. Thanks for having me, Mark. Making it up to Aurora is such a thrill.

Gunt: Don’t I know it. That first time you make it to the big leagues is so much fun. So let’s look at the past. You went to Cal, graduated and were drafted by Tempe in the 8th round. By 2010, you were a highly regarded catching prospect. Last season, OSA rated you as the #8 prospect in the PEBA.

Keller: Yeah, that kind of surprised me. I hadn’t expected to get as much love coming out of college as I did. I mean, my numbers weren’t so great. But after being traded to San Antonio and then Aurora, things seemed to click more. I hit the ball pretty well at Gatineau and Thornton. I know I’m here for my defense right now, but I hope I get the chance to show off my bat, as well.

Gunt: So how does a kid from Salt Lake end up at Cal? How did the schools in Utah let you get away?

Keller: Well, the coach at Cal was just really aggressive. Checked in every week. Came out more than a few times to watch me play. More than any other coach, he made me feel wanted. I had a great time in Berkeley. Salt Lake it is not!

Gunt: That is for sure. So tell me… (ring… ring… ring)… not again… (ring… ring… ring)… George…

Crock: Konichiwa, sports fans! George Crocker here. How’s it crack-a-lackin’ with y’all?

Gunt: What’s up, George? Where are you?

Crock: I’m in Toyama, Japan to see Lupin getting ready for the League of the Rising Sun opener here with Naha Shisa. Ha! I love that name! Haha-so-ha! So much to do with that name… ra-ra-sis-boom-ba-ha! Dang, I’m good!

Gunt: And what on God’s Earth are you doing still in Japan? Don’t you still have a job here in Aurora? (softly) Not that you’re missed…

Crock: Well, Marky-ha-ha, I tell ya what… when I got off that ship and found out they shipped ole George Crocker to Usa, Japan and not the good ole red, white and blue U. S. of A., well, I said to myself, “Self, what do we do now?” And it came to me: Watch baseball. I’d play – could get a job here easy – but I’m still under contract with Bogota…

Gunt: George, please, after all you’ve been through, you’re not going back to Bogota?

Crock: You never know, Mark-o-ma-ma. I’ve unfinished business down under there. Great people… great people on that team. I, George Crocker, can’t let them down.

Gunt: So you’ve been watching spring training, LRS-style?

Crock: I have. I’m here in Toyama… Did you know their team is called the Cliff Hangers? What kind of name is that? I mean, Cliff Hangers? What are they, a bunch of movie endings? “Will the pitcher throw a strike? Will the batter swing the bat? Will the umpire blow the call? Will George Crocker go yard again?” Of course! Any whosit, I’m here to watch the big spring surprise. These guys had an awesome spring, losing only four games while piling up 20 big Ws. These guys have never been better than 3rd and were 4th the last two years. They ain’t exactly Aurora, ya know.

Gunt: So what is it about this spring that has them on top of the league?

Crock: Well, I think it may be a case of them playing Tempe ball. This is a team that had the 5th-best team ERA last year, and they’ve had a good spring. They’ve got this kid who’s probably going to make the roster – grrrrr-eat name, Naomichi Nakagawa – who had a super spring; 0.93 ERA and a .176 OAVG. Reminds me of Kojima.

Gunt: Is that because he’s a fastball-curveball pitcher with a decent strikeout ratio?

Crock: Jeez, Mark-o-rama, not at all. He’s Japanese… duh!

Keller: I think they’re all Japanese, George. Listen, if you guys are going to chatter about, I better get to BP.

Gunt: Oh, gosh, I’m so sorr…

Crock: K.O., Bobby Kell… good talking to you. How is Kojima doing so far? PEBA news travels slow to the Land of the Sinking Moon.

Keller: I think it’s Rising Sun, George, and he’s doing well; 4-2, an ERA just over 3. Had a two-hit shutout over Yuma the other day, but his last start…

Crock: Yuma? Duh! Of course he shut out Yuma. We never lose to Yuma!

Gunt: I hate to break the news to you, George… we lost to Yuma.

Crock: (silence)

Gunt: George?

Crock: (silence)

Gunt: (hopeful) Did we lose him?

Crock: It was Thompson, right? 12 walks? Or Reyes? It was that Reno reject, wasn’t it? I knew those guys couldn’t be trusted.

Gunt: Actually, it was Slappy. He gave up three hits and lost.

Crock: (silence)

Keller: He actually pitched really well, George. Struck out 12, walked one. Just made one bad pitch early in the game.

Crock: (serious… for a change) I’m on the next plane home. Obviously you guys can’t be trusted to bring this trophy home. I, George Crocker, clearly need to be there to oversee the winning tradition. What are we, like, 20 games out of 1st place?

Gunt: All is not dire, George; we’re only two out.

Crock: Oh… well then… so-na-ha-mini-ha-ha, they have this shortstop who’ll never get confused for ole Ice Cold. Hogai Kito. I call him “Sandwich”. He’s, like, a career .210 hitter, yet he’s blasting off at .415 and driving Shisa home at a Chupacabrian pace. They also have this guy, Yoritomo Masuda. Young kid, good D, runs like the wind, hit .400 this spring. He should get a shot at the Show, as well. Reminds me of that rookie they have up in Aurora, End Go?

Gunt: (snorts) Ah, En-guo… why’s that, George? (sarcastically) Because he’s Japanese?

Crock: Ah… no! End Go is Chinese… because he’s fast and plays good D. May have a little pop, too. How is End Go doing?

Gunt: He’s tearing it up, Georgie. You should see him. He’s leading the team in all three Triple Crown categories and has 9 HR. You know, he only hit 15 all last season at Thornton? He’s also stolen 11 bases already.

Crock: Dang. And I thought that hardy-har-ha-ha had cornered the market on young phenomenal types.

Gunt: So how do you rate Naha’s chances?

Crock: Well, they’ll have to beat Edo, the Japanese version of the Evil Empire. That won’t be easy. Do you remember Kenko?

Gunt: You mean Old Man Dragonslayer? What about him?

Crock: Well, he left the Lake and landed in Japan, catching for Edo at 38. Imagine that, Mark-O… 38! He hit 19 jacks last year while hitting .347. He’s had a crazy-good spring. Edo’s too strong. I saw them pound Kuwana for 22 hits the other day. Kuwana, Kuwana, bim-bam-boowana, key-kam-moo-llama… I just dig these names over here!

Gunt: I can see that, George. Where are you at the moment?

Crock: Well, I’m at the park… Castle of Castro Oil or something like that. Beautiful setting; almost as nice as Aurora. Looks out on the mountains; real intimate. But man alive, Mark-a-licious, the food thing here is ca-razy.

Gunt: Like what?

Crock: Well, first off, they have girls, and when I say girls, I mean, ga-irrrrllllsss. They walk about selling beer out of kegs they carry on their backs! Can you believe that? Holy sea urchin roe, Batman! Then they serve shouchu oyu-wari. Do you know what that is? Sweet potato mixed with water. Now I ask you, Marky-Mark; is that good ole American baseball food?

Gunt: Sounds like Japanese food to me, George.

Crock: That’s not it. When I was in Hiroshima to see Hyakujuu – déjà vu-do, hee hee – they were serving people fried sparrow on a stick! How gross-outable is that? Sparrow? What’s next… duck?

Gunt: I think many people around the world already eat duck, George? So what’s going on, George? When are you coming back to the States?

Crock: Well, I don’t know quite yet, Mark-O. I kind of like it here. Got an offer from a team here to do radio schtick for them. I don’t know… who was it? Seoul? But Korean food? Yuck! Kure? Niihama-shi she-she-si? They’re my favorites. The Ghosts. What a totally cool and far-out name! Sure beats the Badgers. I told them I’d think about it, but that they’d have to bring my good partner “Money” Gunter to Japantown to get me to do it! You coming to Japan, Marky?

Gunt: I think not, George. So what exactly happened to you after your arrest in Mexico?

Crock: Do you really want to know? It’s a long story…

Gunt: I figure we’ll be hearing it sooner or later.

Crock: Well then… you see, when the plane landed in Cabo San Lucas, I was, like, totally stoked. We were playing great ball, we were in the wild card lead. Man, we were winning the pennant, I tell you. George Crocker was going to see to that. Anyways, I look out and I see these dogs prancing about as if it were some fancy-dancy dog show. You know the kind – where they feed the dogs with engraved silver spoons…
Michael Topham, President Golden Entertainment & President-CEO of the Aurora Borealis
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2019, 2021, 2022, 2023 PEBA Champions
roncollins

Re: A Crock of Gunt: Bob Keller and George Crocker

#2 Post by roncollins »

Crock o' Gunt. Gotta love it. Looks like I've got some forum searching to do.
Iyou Seigyoki
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Re: A Crock of Gunt: Bob Keller and George Crocker

#3 Post by Iyou Seigyoki »

Sounds like George isn't going to perpetuate Japanese stereotypes of Americans at all. Nope, not one single bit! :lol:
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Re: A Crock of Gunt: Bob Keller and George Crocker

#4 Post by Borealis »

Shisa wrote:Sounds like George isn't going to perpetuate Japanese stereotypes of Americans at all. Nope, not one single bit! :lol:
You know George... He opens his mouth and stuff comes out, without an ounce of moderation or control. Bopped on the head you know... Basically, George is oblivious to anything and everything.
Michael Topham, President Golden Entertainment & President-CEO of the Aurora Borealis
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2019, 2021, 2022, 2023 PEBA Champions
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