A Crock of Gunt: Rodriguez Cup Edition

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Borealis
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A Crock of Gunt: Rodriguez Cup Edition

#1 Post by Borealis »

A Crock of Gunt: Rodriguez Cup Edition
KOA Radio 850

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October 27, 2011: Jacksonville, Florida – The Borealis, who defeated the Bakersfield Bears in the Divisional Series of the Sovereign League playoffs 3 games to 2 and then took out Crystal Lake 4-2 in the SL Alliance Tournament – winning the Sovereign League pennant – today continue their quest for a Rodriguez Cup.  Mark Gunter and George Crocker begin their look at the PEC series against the Florida Featherheads with a couple of members of the Aurora team.

Gunt: Welcome everyone to Game 3 of the Planetary Extreme Championship, direct from Jacksonville.  I’m Mark Gunter.

Crock: And I, George Crocker, cannot believe we are in… Jacksonville?

Gunt: We are indeed in Jacksonville of the FLA, as the kids will say, and tonight we have Game 3, matching António “Crayon” Rivera and Artie Tillman.

Crock: Artie’s been on his own Planetary Extreme Carpet Ride these days.  He’s been, like, psychedelically good.

Gunt: That he has.  Let’s start out talking with Artie.  Till, welcome to the show.

Tillman: Thanks guys.  I don’t want you to forget George Thompson.  Without his 13 strikeouts in the clincher against Bakersfield, we may not be having this conversation.

Crock: That is so true!  Good call, Tillerman.  Do ya think that’s a playoff record? (snickers)

Tillman: I don’t know, maybe.  He sure was dealing, that’s all I know.

Gunt: Dealing indeed, but you’ve been pretty strong yourself.  That gal over at the NLN is calling you the playoff MVP.

Tillman: Well, I think that’s pretty premature.  I’m hoping that’s not gonna be like the Sports Illustrated jinx or somethin’.
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Crock: Modesty, dude… becoming.  Let’s be real.  You come in for García and pitch us through the 6th, giving up only 4 hits and 1 run.  Against that Bakersfield lineup?  Solid.  Then you go 7 twice against those Sodgnats, giving up 2 and 4 runs.  Aurora is undefeated in the postseason with you on the mound.

Tillman: I hate to use that dreaded, “Yeah, but,” but those were games at home, and now I’m taking the mound at Farmer Field.

Gunt: Come on, Artie.  Give yourself some credit; your home and road splits are almost the same.  As a matter of fact, despite an ERA almost a run higher, your WHIP is slightly lower, as is your BABIP.

Tillman: Well, I’m just planning on going out there and doing my job.  If you look at their stats, they seem to be a slightly better road team, with their pitching giving up a little more at home than the road, and their hitters creating a little bit more away, too.  Hopefully that helps us out.

Crock: So you began life as a Coal Sox; you must have pitched at Framer Field before.

Tillman: You know, I don’t really remember.  Besides, they are a much different team now than they were back then.  Morimoto is a lot scarier now.  Of course, Michael Kelly and Miyata weren’t even with them at the time.  And the guy we face tonight, Rivera, was in Omaha.

Crock: Well, Artie, you keep rockin’ with the free world there on the mound, and get us rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on the swampland.  Let’s go back to Colorado for a pa-rade!

Tillman: Well, I’m going to try and not get ahead of myself.  It’ll be the offense that wins it for us.  If we keep them at four runs or less, we should be ok.  I’m off, guys; gotta warm up.

Crock: Thank you, Artie Tillman.  When we return we’ll talk to a member of that vaunted Aurora offense.

Budweiser Commercial

Gunt: Next up is the Man of the Hour, the Ice Man himself: Mark Richardson.

Richardson: Good seeing you guys again.  See if you cannot get me in trouble this time.

Crock: Come on, big guy!  We got you’re back!  We’re here in the FLA and plan on having some fried ‘coon with A.K. and Neilson.  Mmm mmm, good!  Mark and I are all set to wear our Richardson jerseys to the park.  Have a little smack-down…

Gunt: Mark, Florida has what may be the best pitching staff in the Imperial League.  They have a team ERA of 3.30 and an OAVG of .229.  Everyone’s question is, "Will Mark Richardson rise to the top in this series?"

Richardson: Wow… right out of the gate, you hit me with the high cheese.  I don’t think I’ll wilt.  You know, when I played in Florida, I hit pretty well there, so I hope that will translate.  You know, I hit .346 this year.  If I was in Florida still and hit .346, I think they’d have won more than the 125 that Aurora won in 2009.

Crock: But dude, seriously, right now you suck.  I’m telling you, “Ice Cold”, you better get “red hot”!  I heard they’re selling Mark Richardson voodoo dolls in the stands right now, as we speak.  Man, you’re hitting at the Mendoza line and you’re striking out 1/3rd of the time.
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Richardson: Yeah, tell me about it.  I don’t know what’s up.  Last year I had 7 extra base hits and so far I have just 3 – all homeruns; go figure.  I need to relax.  I’m pressing too much.  Aurora showed me the love, bringing me here with the big contract to make this club a champion.  I hope Tuesday’s game was an indicator of things to come.  After taking a Sombrero on Monday – and man, I was really nervous in that last at bat; I almost missed that last pitch!  I don’t think I’ve ever had a Golden Sombrero – I made the conscious effort to be more relaxed.

Gunt: Who do you think will make the biggest difference for Aurora as the series shifts to Jacksonville?

Richardson: Well, Farmer Field in many ways is similar to our home park; it’s just bigger.  It seems to favor the left handed hitters more.  So I suspect Stevie, Augustie, Chrissie and Jimmy, our big left-handed bats, should shine.  If our pitchers can keep McNeill and Morimoto down, we have a shot.  You know, don’t look past Cory Pierce.  He may be starting next year.  Since coming in for Salvador, he’s hitting .454 in the postseason.

Crock: So do tell, "Ice Cold"… you’ve been all around this great big world a bit.  What are your thoughts on the beaches here in Jacksonville, Florida?  I hear you spent some time there on your off day?

Richardson: I did.  First thing I did was visit my dear friend Granny Gretchen.  She wanted to go back to the batting cages, but I thought perhaps the beach was a better plan.  We had a nice time.

Gunt: You’ve been portrayed in a negative light in the Florida media since signing with Aurora.  What are your expectations as the series now shifts to the Sunshine State?

Richardson: Well, I think first off they are jealous of my accomplishments and the compensation for the hard work I’ve put into my career.  Look how they’ve portrayed my relationship with Granny, as if I despised being there.  She’s a lovely old gal who just needs to get out of that old folks home and have some fun.

Crock: So what you’re saying is that old girls just wanna have fun?  Are you the man for that job, Mark?  Do tell!  Was Granny sporting the latest hot bikini at the beach?

Richardson: Come on, George.  What kind of crap is that?  Been bonked on the head one too many times?  Then those two radio guys jump all over me about my comments regarding their trainer over there.  Just a bad scene.  I bet they’re behind those voodoo dolls.

Gunt: No doubt.  Well, good luck, Mark; we hope to see you back in Colorado with good things having happened.

Crock: Wait… hold on, one last question.  Dude, you’ve been moved down in the lineup.  With your average free fallin’ here in the postseason, are you down with that?

Richardson: Well, I don’t have much say about that, unless I do so with my bat.  I’m not happy about it.  They pay me to hit 2 or 3 in the lineup, so yeah, I’m disappointed.  I just have to go out there and hit like I did when I was here before.  They pay Toro to make the decisions.  Let’s hope he’s made the right ones.

Gunt: OK, we’ll see you later Mark.  We’ll be back with our last thoughts in a moment.

Another Commercial Break

Gunt: So, what are your thoughts on these upcoming games, George?

Crock: I think we shall see an offensive explosion.  High scoring games.  We might see, I don’t know, maybe, a dozen homeruns in these games.  I think Mark and Weaver will be the keys.  They have been Aurora’s big men and they’ll need to be that here.

Gunt: I think one area that Toro has changed is with the defense.  Moving McDonald to DH and Quiñones to 2B seems to have been a smart move.  The team that gives the fewest extra outs will likely come on top of this series.  Florida’s three errors in Game 1 led to 4 unearned runs.  That was a huge difference.

Crock: Great call.

Gunt: What’s with the jersey, George?  I thought we’d agree to wear the Richardson Florida jerseys for tonight’s game.

Crock: Well, you see, I had this tryout with this Columbian team, the Bogata Caribs, and I think they’re going to give me a contract.  They said they’d pay me in Columbian currency, which was worth more in the States than dollars.  I’m thinking about it.  I’m just not sure how I look in red?  But hey, check out their logo – it’s an F-Head, just like Florida’s!  That counts for something, don’t it?
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Michael Topham, President Golden Entertainment & President-CEO of the Aurora Borealis
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Jim

Re: A Crock of Gunt: Rodriguez Cup Edition

#2 Post by Jim »

Nice graphics!
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klewis
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Re: A Crock of Gunt: Rodriguez Cup Edition

#3 Post by klewis »

Nice article. The Richardson voodoo pic was clever. I hope Richardson remembers which locker room to go to. Good luck in this 3-game set in Jacksonville. Here's hoping for some tight, nail-biting games!
Kevin Lewis - Forever Florida Featherheads
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