A Crock of Gunt: Alexandre Poirier

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A Crock of Gunt: Alexandre Poirier

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A Crock of Gunt: Alexandre Poirier
KOA Radio 850– Mark Gunter & George Crocker

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5/14/2011: Aurora, Colorado – Mark Gunter and George Crocker sat down with Borealis 1B and DH Alexandre Poirier over the weekend during Aurora’s series vs. Yuma, probing the 29-year-old’s mind about Aurora’s season, his career and side interests.

Gunt: Welcome to “A Crock of Gunt”. I’m All-Leather second basemen Mark Gunter …

Crock: Howdy pardners! George Crocker “Spaniel”, your 2-time Player of the Week, reporting. We’re going international today, and I’ve dressed for the occasion.

Poirier: Thanks for wearing the Royals uni today, George. C’est très chic.

Crock: I’m no chick! Geez dude, and I wore this jersey just for you, seeing you be Canadian, eh?

Poirier: No, that means it looks good, George. Sacrebleu.

Crock: Oh… I see. Well, french fries to you too, eh? (sticking tongue out at Poirier)

Gunt: Last night’s game was a tough one for Aurora. Perales held you guys to two hits in eight innings for his first victory of the season.

Poirier: Yeah, he was dealing. That was our worst night this season. 9 Ks, we had 15 AB with guys on base and all we score is 1 run. Wilson had his chances but came up empty. But he’s been awesome so far, and hey, we’re 32-6? I think we all will take that!

Crock: How about that kid Bradley? Do you think Topham’s ready to trade Roach yet?

Poirier: I don’t think John’s going anywhere yet. Bill’s done a great job, no question about that. He had one bad inning last night where the top of Yuma’s order strung some hits together. Yuma had him 1st and 3rd, no outs and a run in. I know Toro wanted to take him out – Ángel was up in the pen – but he resisted and let him face Hoffman. Got him to pop up a 1-0 pitch. That showed a lot about the kid. Yeah, I think he let down a bit after that, giving up a couple of singles, but get rid of that one inning and his ERA drops from 3.18 to 2.30. He certainly is a keeper.

Gunt: So tell us, Alex, how does a Quebecer end up playing baseball? Shouldn’t you be playing hockey?

Poirier: Pourquoi pas, je ne peux pas glace patinage.

Crock: Say what? I didn’t know we would need a translator for this interview! What you say we do this in anglais, señor Pear Tree, eh?

Poirier: Sorry George. Growing up in Montreal, it is every boy’s dream to play for Les Habs. But when I kept growing through high school, hockey became tough! There aren’t many 6’5” hockey players. We played baseball during the summer. If you can control the puck at high speed on ice, you can hit a fastball.

Gunt: So growing up on the banks of the St. Lawrence River, who were the players of this American game that you idolized?

Poirier: Well, growing up we had Les Expos, and I’m still bitter 17 years later over that strike in ’94. Oh, ma merde baisante! People believe that a series win that year would have saved them. I guess I looked up to Larry Walker; we had similar games. I always admired Marquis Grissom for having such a dynamic game. Speed, defense, a little pop, but he sure was a dynamo on the field.

Crock: Larry Walker? Dude, you were like 12. How could you have the same game, eh?

Poirier: (laughs) I was left-handed, had a bit of power, moved the ball around. I modeled my stance after him. Plus he was a Canuck and he played hockey! I was stoked when he won MVP in ’97. In wood shop that winter I made my own MVP trophy and put it in my room. By then I was 6’2” and I figured hockey was not my game.

Crock: Dude! Why didn’t I think of that? A PEBA trophy, eh!?!? Think of the chicks. Wow! Tiger would have…

Gunt: George, focus. You can’t make yourself a trophy and have someone take you seriously. I bet Alex doesn’t even have that trophy anymore.

Poirier: Actually, my Mom still has it at home, intermingled with my other trophies. Little League, Little Rocket, school stuff. It’s kind of cool, though. From Canada, went to Colorado. Now I’m in Aurora… it’s like I truly am mirroring his career.

Crock: See! Do you have a Stanley Cup, too? I could come over for beers. Isn’t that what they do with the Cup? Beers and chicks. I’ll buy the brews and you get your Royal Raker award out and get the chicks. I understand they dig the long ball, eh?

Poirier: Really George, it’s ok. (under his breath) Mon Dieu, peut quelqu'un le faire taire. Besides, I’ve got a girlfriend already. Met her at an Ozzie concert. I dig Ozzie.

Gunt: Isn’t there an Ozzie tune you use as your walk up music?

Poirier: Yeah, “Crazy Train”. Ooo la la! Love those guitars!

Gunt: So I understand you have a new business venture happening in downtown Aurora. Tell our listeners about this unusual undertaking.

Poirier: Well, in college I was an art history major. (looks at Crocker whose eyes are bugged out in shock) I know George, a ballplayer liking art? Growing up in a renaissance city like Montreal, you learn to love the arts. So I’ve opened up a gallery that I’ve called “AuroBora”, a place where new, young artists can work and display their work. There’s some wonderful stuff going on there. It’s not about money – I have enough of that – but in Montreal the community gives to the arts, and I want to do the same in Aurora.

Crock: What if you got traded to Connecticut? Would you call it ConNut? Or how about OmaCyco if you went to Omaha, using the Ooma in your offices (altering voice into a faux Indian accent) to call Uma Thurman? EEEHHH…… Or perhaps RenTen? VirginCoal? I like that one, eh?

Gunt: I think we get the picture, George. I think Alex has a few years left here in Aurora. He’s an integral piece of the hi-octane offense that has been built here. What are your thoughts about your role on the team this season?

Poirier: Well, I think Toro is trying to get everyone playing time. I grew up a National League fan and I hated the DH, but thank God for that rule in the PEBA! There seems to be this three-way platoon at 1B and DH between Kiyo, August and myself. Between us, we should all get 400+ at-bats, and if we hit .280-.300 combined we should be in good shape as a team.

Crock: What about “Ice Cold”? Any opinions about him? Is he as bad as the reports coming out of Florida? He does seem a bit aloof. Did you see that babe he dated in Jacksonville, eh?

Poirier: I’m looking forward to Mark hitting his stride. I wonder what last season would have been like if he played full time! He’s a professional, plays hard and is a great guy in the clubhouse. Not much into cards, but you should see him play Risk! Most guys gave it a shot during Spring Training, but he beat everyone. Chess, dominos; man, he is competitive! He does not like to lose.

Crock: What about the girl he dated? Come on, you’re French! You’re supposed to know about those things! I dated this ugly girl once. Back in Kalamazoo, that’s all they got! No beaches or nothing. Thank you, eh? You know what no beaches means in Kalamazoo?

Gunt: (rolling his eyes) No George, what does it mean?

Crock: No bikinis! And in K-Zoo, that’s great news, eh? Don’t get me wrong, I like a good bikini…

Poirier: I try to stay out of that stuff, Mr. Crocker. Maybe Mark and I travel different circles, but in the clubhouse and on the field he’s a great teammate.

Gunt: Well, that’s about all the time we have. I want to thank Alexandre Poirier for taking the time to visit us and providing a glimpse into his life.

Crock: No, wait. Tell us what you think about Chris…

Gunt: (loudly) Bye George… just say, “Goodbye,” George.

Crock: Hummph! Eh?
Michael Topham, President Golden Entertainment & President-CEO of the Aurora Borealis
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Re: A Crock of Gunt: Alexandre Poirier

#2 Post by John »

I was laughing like crazy while reading this. Crock was in fine form for this one. I also was having fun running translations on the french text. Did I get "Pourquoi pas, je ne peux pas glace patinage" right, Michael? Was it basically "I can't skate"? Did you use a website to translate that from English to French, or do you happen to speak French?
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Re: A Crock of Gunt: Alexandre Poirier

#3 Post by Borealis »

Nah, my French career ended in high school, and as I say to my daughter, who is fluent (a French major at Lake Forest College, and a former ice skater), I speak noun; cracks her up. Yes, you got the translation right AND I used a web site to get the French.

Crocker is a kick to work with. Let's not forget why he is no longer playing ball.
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Re: A Crock of Gunt: Alexandre Poirier

#4 Post by Iyou Seigyoki »

Great job with the radio interview format. Really good give and take...I also laughed out loud. :D
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