Manager Whiteman and his “Championship Test”

Updated: February 13, 2016


Gary Salisbury
The Cajun Chronicles
April 3rd 2023
New Orleans, Louisiana

“Heck, I don’t know what he is tring to accomplish, but it’s 100% humidity out here. He must be out of his mind.”

New Orleans backup catcher Rafael Moya is certainly not a big fan of the training regimen for the Trendsetters, and he has made it known when the media decided to pay a visit at the team’s new training grounds today, known as “The Bog”, situated next to New Frontier Park.

The team has been on a 12-year losing-record streak. The latest versions of the team have been punctuated by lots of home runs, no baserunning of note, and terrible pitching. Manager Whiteman is here to reverse that, and he wasted no time stamping his authority.

Soggy, muggy weather filled the air and manager Whiteman has been a tough man to please. Today is day three of what he calls the “Championship Test”, a set of gruelling physical exercises, primarily running-related, to whip this new team into shape. He wants to find out who has the mental and physical toughness to want to bring this team back from the proverbial dead, in the Dixie Division.

“Deep down, what I expect is maximum effort. We won’t slug our way out of the basement. We’ve already tried that. We’ll run our way out. The godzilla-like, home-run-hitting era of this team is dead. I’ll make sure it’s dead. This team will be physically fit, and be able to move. If they can be in top shape in a miserable humid environment like Louisiana, they can be ready anywhere” said Whiteman.

On day 1, outfielder Jason Perkins lasted only half the session, before he walked out. He wanted no part of it, and as he was leaving the facility, he made sure owner Jack Cobb knew it. Using expletives we can’t write here, as much as we’d like to.

“Want me to show you how to run? Fine! See you tomorrow morning!” Cobb exclaimed.

On day two, there was Cobb, in his running gear, going through the same training regimen as the rest of the team, at age 40. Perkins re-appeared, but again would not stay for the full day, and told them he was going home.

“There is no sense in expecting this to work if we do it half-way.” said Cobb. “Anyway, I like this running gear. I might stick around for the rest of the week, why not.”

We can now confirm that Perkins will be on New Orleans’ AAA squad to start the new year. This is the first time he has been sent down to the minors since he first arrived in New Orleans 3 years ago.

Even pitchers were involved. Their main drill was to pitch, but hold runners on base. Various players were placed on first base, and if a runner successfully stole a base, or if they threw a ball for any reason while they stole a base, the pitcher had to run a loop around the bases, and return to the mound for more.

“Nothing in life is given for free” said manager Whiteman, “we will see who wants to be on a top team.”

No matter what the outcome of this idea will be, it seems like manager Whiteman has wasted no time in asserting his authority.

The 25 surviving players will face London this week, to kick-start the 2023 season.